Bathroom Business

A lot of business takes place in a mens bathroom. I mean to say that more than just your typical "bathroom" business happens there. I'm talking about real honest work.

I'm guessing that the mens restroom takes second place only to the water cooler in terms of spontaneous meetings with co-workers. The only difference that I see between the two is that when you are around the water cooler, the topics tend to stray from business and it becomes a break. Whereas, in a restroom, you stick to the topic. The only reason a man is going to be caught talking to another man while in the restroom is because of business. For this very reason topics in the restroom are very business focused.

I'm not sure if the womens restroom is equally as productive, but I assure you that when men appear to be taking a long time in the bathroom it may not be because they had Mexican food and a lot of beer the previous night and their stomach is upset. They may be hashing a business plan with their co-worker or boss.

The reason I bring this topic up is because I was part of an impromptu business meeting in the mens restroom today.

In restroom meeting etiquette it is OK to begin a conversation after the facilities have been used and you are washing your hands. At that point, if you feel it necessary to continue talking; only a few small steps backwards are needed to allow room for other restroom patrons to wash their hands after their "load balancing" has been completed, so to speak.

Our meeting ran longer than the typical hand wash so it was imperative that my co-worker, boss, and I take a few steps back from the sink.

I'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe and I believe a person should wash their hands no matter what kind of business they have done in the restroom. I typically - when not in a meeting - will wash my hands, dry my hands with a paper towel, grab a fresh paper towel and wrap it around the handle to avoid contact with any germs that may have collected on the door handle. Some may call me paranoid, but I have just cause for doing this.

During my meeting I had a clear view of the restroom sinks. As I participated in the discussion I couldn't help but notice the hand washing practices of others that use the restroom.

Let me give you a few examples of the types of people I saw:

Guy #1 - I don't wash my hands guy." This is the kind of guy that will zip up and head straight to the door. Leaving his germs on the handle. I cringe whenever I witness it. I want to remind these people to wash their hands, as if they have forgotten, but I'm not that bold.

Guy #2 - "My body is a temple guy." This guy washed his hands before he used the restroom; as if his hands were too dirty to do his business. After he used the facilities I noticed this guy looking at himself in the mirror, never washing his hands before leaving. Again, leaving his germs on the handle and most likely picking up a few germs from Guy #1.

Guy #3 - "Extreme germ-a-phobe guy." This guy came into the restroom with the sole purpose of cleaning his hands. He scrubbed his hands, dried them, and then bare handed reached for the same handle that guy #1 and #2 had touched. This made my stomach sink. If he only knew...

In total, the restroom meeting lasted less than 5 minutes.

Being the closest one to the door I felt it necessary to hold the door open as the three of us exited the restroom. With dry hands I reached for a paper towel, wrapped it around the handle, and opened the door.

My boss looked at me a bit oddly; as if I was a bit paranoid. However, I'm sure if he had seen what I saw in the last five minutes; he would start carrying a bottle of Lysol and a roll of paper towels everywhere he went.

I didn't bother mentioning what I witnessed. As some people say, "Ignorance is bliss."