The Will To Suffer

Post Inspired By:
There Will Be A Light
from Ride with Nick Martin by Martini

Quote:
This past weekend's Firecracker 50 was a quick reminder that I need dig deep within myself to find my "will to suffer". Some call it a "broken motivator" others call it "the pain cave" some even refer to it as the "check engine soon light". Whatever your lingo, once you loose it, it takes some serious soul searching to bring 'er back.

It isn't easy when your passion is a sport that can literally bring you to your knees week in and week out.... you would think after 10 years of racing I would have it figured out?

This past weekend I was in the hurt locker when I bonked during the third race of the Winter Park Race Series. The story is pretty simple. A simplest change in diet made for a bad race.

For the last several years I've found that I need protein and lots of it the night before a tough ride. The morning of a hard ride, I'll again have some protein, but will also work in some carbs. I find this works for my body. This also means I get to eat a lot of BBQ chicken the night before a tough race. I'm not saying this is right, but it works for me.

This past Friday I went out to eat with the family and my In-Laws. Instead of the traditional BBQ chicken, I instead opted for a couple beers and a calzone from CB & Pots (I'm a big fan of their porter). Holy Carbs, Batman!

So in a feable attempt to regain some of the protein I needed, I ate some chicken the morning of the race and like an idiot, some of the left over calzone...

My race was at 11:20 and the carbs from the calzone were burned by 10:00, leaving me hungry by my start time. To make matters worse, the race was post-poned a half-hour, which made my starting time at noon (a.k.a. lunch time).

I had a good start and was able to use my race day adrenaline as a motivator for the first 7 miles. By mile 8 I was hot, hungry, and had no energy left... I BONKED!!!

At that point I was no longer racing. I was trying to survive. Looking back at it, the thing that bothers me the most is that I didn't have the "will to suffer" or the "check engine soon light" as Nick refers to in his post. I was spent and didn't have it in me to fight. I just wanted to finish the race. I never use to be that way. In addition, somewhere on the course I left a piece of me that I haven't been able to recover; my motivation to ride.

I figured with the Tour de France on TV, I'd watch a couple stages and be totally psyched to ride my bike, but even though I'm enjoying the Tour a lot, I still haven't got the itch to even ride, never mind train.

As Nick says, "Whatever your lingo, once you loose it, it takes some serious soul searching to bring 'er back"

So, it is soul searching time...

This week will be spent resting and this weekend I'll plan on a nice long bike ride. The perfect opportunity to search the soul.